Last night I was searching for child advocacy efforts that tied in with the holidays and came across the Samaritan’s Purse, International Relief website. They help provide emergency relief and desperately needed assistance to victims of natural disaster, war, disease, and famine. They offer food, water, and temporary shelter, meeting critical needs and giving people a chance to rebuild their lives. One of their projects is Operation Christmas Child, it is a one-week collection of shoeboxes filled with gifts for a boy or girl between ages 2 and 14. The boxes are then given to children in need around the world. Gift suggestions include small toys such as cars, balls, stuffed animals or dolls; hygiene items, such as a toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap or a comb; school supplies; hard candy or gum; a flashlight with batteries; socks and T-shirts; a watch; and a letter of encouragement.
They do ask that you do not include any war toys or things that can melt or break, but something soft will mean a great deal to them, because most kids don’t have anything soft to hold close. The age groups are boys or girls, ages 2-4; 5-9 or 10-14. They ask that you wrap the shoeboxes’ top separately from the bottom. They are also asking for a seven-dollar donation with each box to help with shipping costs. The boxes will be sent to children in over 130 war-torn and desperate areas of the world. You can find your drop off location here.
Today, Jason and I went to the dollar store and spent $8 on the loot box below. I forgot to stick in the toothbrushes and toothpaste I had here to include before I snapped the shot, but it is going to cost $15 including shipping to brighten a small child’s day. Last year, there were more than 8 million children in 95 counties that received the shoeboxes. Operation Christmas Child is a wonderful way to reach children who are less fortunate.
In addition to wowing Mommy and Daddy by his knowledge of shapes and colors, amazing ability to spiral a football, threading beads on a string or completing a puzzle on his own, Jason has added some more skills to his list: pinching, and shoving. You would think that this would have to be a learned behavior, watching Mommy hit Daddy over the head with a school bus perhaps, but I assure you it is not. It’s been hard for me to see my loving, gentle little man turn into a pinching, shoving little tyrant.
Clearly he lacks the capacity to express feelings in less offensive ways. Frustration or anger is causing him to lash out at his friends in a kind of primitive response. I guess I’m looking for affirmation that this behavior is normal and that I’m not raising a future class bully. I try not to feel so powerless during an attack on his friend (who is actually Mommy’s friend…he had nothing to do with my selection) and just plug away at showing him acceptable means of communication. In fact sometimes his anger is justified and my goal shouldn’t be to squash the emotion, but to show him how to express his anger in a healthy, preferably non-violent way.
I am struggling with watching Jason express these emotions but I think it may be unrealistic to expect him to always be calm, cool and collected. I’ve actually come to notice that lower expectations tend to make for a happier day. That’s not to say that low expectations are cause for a lousy day, just a realistic one. Mommy may not get a shower until nap time…if she does she probably wont get to shave her legs or dry her hair. I may just have to go more than a year without four hours of solid sleep. I will not be able to go to the bathroom alone… probably ever again. My days are filled with surprises like missing keys, stickers on your favorite wallet, drawings on important paperwork, writing on the wall, baby powder all over the carpet, or Goldfish crackers lining the bottom of my purse (a personal favorite) and I’m quite certain these are the best days of my life.
Sometimes I think the world just moves too slowly for him. He is either full speed ahead or asleep. I thought about getting him a treadmill like Cesear Millan suggests for his dogs to wear them out. In some ways I can understand why he would be frustrated. He usually gets to rule the roost and learning to share is a tough concept. I should give credit where due, when we go to the local park he will take turns all day long on the slide. The children stand side by side 4 or 5 deep waiting patiently for their turn to climb up the tower and down the long twirly slide.
This past week at my Guardian Ad Litem Training, we discussed child development and our role as Guardians in helping to determine if milestones have been missed. One of the more surprising set backs that a child in and out of the welfare system encounters is gender inequality. Gender inequities and gender biases, whether subtle or obvious are causing girls and boys to be raised in separate societies. The early designation of pink for little girls and blue for little boys begins the social process that teaches girls to be passive, dependent, and submissive and boys to be active, independent and dominant. Boys and girls are often given separate expectations, and widely diverging treatment based on gender.
Gender roles limit creativity and fail to prepare children for their future or allow them to fulfill their true potential. These stereotypes have predetermined that girls are pretty (insert body image problems), nice and enjoy cooking and cleaning. Boys are not supposed to be emotional, and enjoy mudslinging outside and sports. The truth is that all children are innocent and are trying to comprehend their role in society while they are still trying to establish a role with their parents and friends. Parents that interfere with that development by not allowing their son to imitate mommy nursing with his teddy bear, or clank around the house in his mommy’s heels are doing more harm than good. Working toward gender equality will enable boys and girls to embrace who they are and be themselves, instead of being bound by rigid gender roles.
Pictured above is Jason learning how to do a push up and below is him learning to walk in heels…all in the same busy day.
The first blog I ever read, three years ago, was Dooce.com. She talked about poop, boobs, her dog, and her daughter. She defines Dooced as: to lose one’s job because of one’s website. I love reading her writing and checking in on her family and their new adventures. But what I really love is that both her and her husband stay home with their children and work on their blog and support the lifestyle that they were accustomed to.
I wanted to blog when Jason was born, the development is so amazing to watch and I wanted to document it for personal reasons. Brian bought me a domain and I never once wrote on it. I was pretty exhausted and was extremely critical of my writing. It wasn’t until my mothers recent visit that she was telling me how much fun her blog was, that we came up with Triple Martini Lunch.
The best part about the blog is that I’m turning my thoughts about getting involved in child advocacy efforts into a reality. I am midway through my Guardian Ad Litem, and found sponsorship to attend the Meeting the Needs of Young Children and Families Conference this month. In addition to focusing my child advocacy efforts while I’m at home with Jason and not in the work force, I am off of farmville. I was tucking Jason in at night, straightening up the house and checking on my crops. Farmville had me considering paying real money for a virtual house which ends up becoming a status symbol within their society. Now, at the end of the day, I sit down and write.
I was told by someone that I wasn’t going to get rich off of it. Last month I made enough on my google ads to get a manicure and pedicure. Since choosing to stay home with Jason my pedicures are few and far between. I will totally blog for pedicures. The industry is relatively new and there is a pretty large following. Unfortunately, we missed the 2009 Blog World Expo in Vegas, next year we’ll be there.
Although I’ve spent twenty seven years in Florida and Alligators are everywhere, I’m still adjusting to living with them in our neighborhood. We live next to a large piece of conservation (also known as Florida swamp) and for many months I would walk Jason and Leah around a nearby lake. The lake has a lot of traffic and the neighbors I encounter have no fear of the teenage gator pictured above. He usually comes out on an early morning walk or a walk around dusk. When I see him in the middle of the lake, I usually just get Jason back in the stroller.
I spoke with the man who cares for the lake (on his john boat) and asked if there was cause for concern. He told me that the teenager wouldn’t bother us (but couldn’t give it to me in writing) and that he removed NINE adult gators from the lake last year. This should be reassuring, but the conservation we live on is about 12 miles long and a few miles wide…I know that there are more in there.
The nearby park that we go to also rests on nearby lakes (Land O’Lakes is just what it sounds like), it also has a sign that read “please do not molest the alligators”. Seeing the sign made me realize that I did not want to take on an alligator, of any size. It made me rethink my morning walk… I’m going to consider it a loss for team lake walk and one for team alligator and take my gator bait off of the path. It was a nice wide open space that I could let the dog run on and we will miss it, hopefully she will let me make up for it with ball time.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission estimates that 1.25 million wild alligators live in Florida. Each year they remove approximately 7,000 nuisance alligators (usually they are just unwanted).
I thought I did a great job preparing for the recent time change. Bed times, nap times and wake times were all altered…just didnt think about dad coming home and dinner time. Jason thinks that both Dad and dinner are an hour late and begins to loose it. My 1 1/2 year old actually gets worried, brings me the phone and asks me to call Dad. “Its dark out” he tells me as if his mother is possibly losing her grip on reality and failing to notice that all of the recent changes to our very much preferred routine are extremely unsettling.
We were given a crocheted blanket as a gift and just before he started crawling he became attached to it. He calls it “mine”. He is so attached to it (it goes everywhere with us) that I asked for a second blanket. It was great to be able to wash it without tears and switch them out when needed…until recently. He really did well weaning off of the breast, the the time change in addition to the weaning was too much for him to bear and he now wants both blankets. He calls them “two” and I’m glad that he is able to find comfort in them.
It has been a month since Jason nursed and weeks since he has asked to. Since the time change, he has asked everyday. The truth is, Jason and I both miss it now that its gone. By giving him 2 minutes of comfort he is transformed into a completely different baby. Breastfeeding mothers know that nursing is more than food, it is an act of love. It is an easy way to give comfort when a toddler is sick(I had never been more thankful to be able to bring him to the breast for comfort than when he woke up after his surgery), sad, tired, or hurt, making life with a toddler easier. As I was missing the easy comfort the breast provided, it occurred to me that a breast fed teenager would probably be easier too…I know a breast fed husband certainly is.
It was a hard decision to bring it to an end. The natural child-spacing result of breastfeeding has continued well into his second year of life. While breastfeeding alone is not a reliable means of birth control, extended nursing can and has suppressed ovulation and delayed the return of fertility. Because I had long ago missed the window to have the children spaced close together (2 years was my original plan- you know life is what happens when you make plans) I faced a tough decision about extended breastfeeding. In the end, my desire to continue breastfeeding outweighed my desire for a second child. It also allowed me to enjoy my first.
Coffee has only recently become an integral part of my life. Even pulling all nighters studying shortly after all nighters partying in college doesn’t compare to my new found role as a nighttime parent. On my way to tonight’s Guardian Ad Litem training I stopped in to a Starbucks for some coffee and noticed that you can buy a pound of coffee and they will send it to the troops. Apparently they have been doing this for several years, but not at every location. It cost me $10 (thats just two trips to starbucks) and I wrote a message on the bag with a permanent marker. ”Come home soon. Love, The Bachman Family”. Even if you don’t support the war, I think its important to differentiate between supporting our troops and supporting the war.
To find out about more individuals, groups and organizations that are helping support the troops, check out the United States Department of Defense Community Relations. Their website breaks down citizen support by State.
Operation Gratitude seeks to lift morale and put smiles on faces by sending care packages addressed to individual Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines deployed overseas. The care packages contain food, hygiene products, entertainment items and personal letters of appreciation, all wrapped with good wishes of love and support. They have a long list of ways you can help and get involved. I plan on helping with the request for letters and Beanie Babies.
Operation Gratitide received the following letter from a Marine:
” I live with 17 Marines and Sailors in one room. Everyone got a package and everyone loved it, especially the cookies and beanie babies. The beanie babies helped us out a lot with the local kids. We give them candy and toys and they give us the localtion for IED’s…”
An expecting friend of mine sent me a questionnaire asking about the best and worst baby products. It wanted to know everything from which diapers and strollers to pacifiers and bath tubs. I think most baby items are pretty comparable, and you get what you pay for. Here are my top three all time favorite baby items. Life was easier because I had them.
- Sound Machine (white noise)
- Maya Wrap
- Baby Einstein anything!
We went through two Brookstone sound machines before we found this one at Target that has a rotating image that it projects on the ceiling or wall. The sound machine gently turned a fussy baby into a happy one, we used it for more than just lulling him to sleep, often he would be too fussy to eat and I’d turn it on and it made it pleasant enough for him to eat.
I absolutely LOVED my Maya wrap. We went through a few different carriers before I found one that worked so keep looking if you cant find the right fit. It does take some getting used to but I took it everywhere with me. I’ve cooked with him in it, he’s napped in it, he’s nursed in it and we’ve gone on long walks through parks and malls with it. Even after Jason started walking, I kept it for when he was tired of walking or riding in the stroller and wanted to be held. One day all to soon, they wont want to be held, so take advantage of it while you can.
Lastly, Baby Einstein. We were lucky enough to be gifted three volumes of Baby Einstein DVD’s. When Jason got his two month vaccines he had a rough reaction. For a few days after the shot, when he would wake up he would scream…and scream and scream. It would last anywhere from 5-7 minutes. Usually, when he had a hard time waking up or was just fussy because he needed to be, and I took him outside for some sunshine he would snap out of it and check out his new surroundings. Nothing worked. I even got into the shower once to try and snap him out of it. Nothing EXCEPT Baby Einstein worked. I decided to pop in a DVD and give it a try and he stopped. For months and months we watched the same Baby Bach DVD once a day. He didn’t really care for the other DVD’s until he was 7 or 8 months old. Now, almost two he still enjoys watching them and so do I. The Beautiful images and music, colors, words languages, art and puppets are a fabulous alternative to whats on TV.
In looking online to find out more about Baby Einstein products offered ( This mirror for the car was one of his favorites) I realized that they have been under attack for a few years. The outrage is stemming from the conclusion that the viedo’s don’t in fact make your child a genius. Here is Mirriam Webster’s Online definition of genius: extraordinary intellectual power especially as manifested in creative activity. I have to say that Jason falls into this category. Yes, Im bias but the kid is genius! and No, I didn’t think the video would do it for him. There is a balance between television and real life face to face interaction and exploration of the world. Giving Jason a secure foundation, fostering creative activities, developing emotional relationships with friends and family, and working in the language, reading and counting skills at the given opportunities (three shoes but only two feet! Oh no!) has us on our way down the path for educational success.
Here is my Baby Genius: 
Congratulations to Susan Andree!
Stay tuned for more Apron Giveaways before the holidays. A random number was generated courtesy of RANDOM.ORG. Check out the website to find out more about true randomness.
