When I first thought of blogging, I said my first entry would be about how great it felt to floss. As a child, we did our regular check ups in addition to our monthly visits once we got braces. Each time we would be sent home with floss, and upon each return visit, as my gums would bleed, they would suggest I start flossing. It wasn’t until I was an adult at college that I picked up the floss picks and fell in love with clean teeth. It was about that time that I stopped buying cheap toothbrushes and invested in the $7 or $8 toothbrush. I now floss daily and on a good day twice a day, and am still surprised at the smelly grossness that comes out between my teeth. Combining mouth rinse in my daily routine, my mouth feels fresh longer through out the day.

For some time, Jason has been sucking on his toothbrush. In the past two weeks or so I have had him brushing once a day. It wasn’t until I had him brush mine that the brushing of his own became more efficient. I still need to go behind him and get the hard to reach places, and he cries while I do. As soon as we get past they crying we will go to twice a day…maybe sooner.

Its funny how much things change when you have little ones. Things that I thought were important don’t seem to matter much anymore and something as simple as a diaper sprayer makes me elated. Basically it is a small hand held sprayer that hooks up to your toilet. You spray the grossness from the diaper into the toilet, therefore eliminating the old dunk and swish method. This thing is a little slice of heaven! It actually has a really good amount of pressure behind it. I couldn’t imagine using cloth diapers without them (thanks Mom for dunking and swishing!) but use it ALL the time for everything else that we create that is too gross to go directly to the washing machine.

A good friend of mine was using the kitchen sink to wash dog poop off of shoes. She didn’t realize that the germs and bacteria in feces should be separated entirely from the room you cook and wash dishes in.  This sprayer is the perfect solution. I have cleaned my fair share of poop off of shoes and clothes with the sprayer, but am spraying dirt, paint and spaghetti off of clothes and shoes too, they wash so much nicer if I treat them after the high pressure wash with my sprayer.

The cheapest diaper sprayer I could find was on Amazon.com for $35.00.  But you should be able to search online for promotion codes and come up with something cheaper. I also found a link for a DIY Tutorial…this is what we had in our old home. Even if you arent using cloth and are expecting a new baby…wether you are expecting it or not, you are going to have 2-3 outfit changes a day for the first few months and this sprayer will make life much more pleasant.

I feel so incredibly blessed to have so much love in my life. There were some lovely presents under the tree for me, but the best gift Brian has ever given me is the chance to stay home with Jason, despite our inability to “afford” it. Here are some shots of the big day:

New Shoes, New Kitchen

New Tools

Play Dough with Dad

Helping Sew

More Help

Hugs

Sleepy Boy Sharing his Blanket

After breakfast when I asked Jason if he wanted to go to the local park and play he responded that he wanted to go to the Zoo, so we did. Spontaneity is hard to come by in our busy lives, but it’s so important. Not just with our children, but in all of our relationships. Freedom from the cares of the world is the very essence of childhood and when we respond to their spontaneity, those moments develop over time into great childhood memories.

Parents today load their kids’s schedule with enrichment activities, hoping to get them ahead of the curve. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that spontaneous “kid play” is actually what kids need and crave for healthy development and the building of appropriate social skills. Jason has been using his imagination for a while now, feeding his stuffed puppy snacks or letting his horse drive his train. Besides being fun to watch, the uninstructed activity might be the healthiest development of all for him. If I could just get him to stop pushing our friend “E”.

There seems to be a debate as to wether or not to tell your children about Santa. As a child I not only believed in Santa Claus but the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy as well. I remember the conversation where I questioned my parents, to which they replied, if there is no Santa then I guess there wont be any presents….I still believe. It wasn’t until I stopped visiting for Easter, that the Bunny stopped hiding my basket. I plan on using a nativity scene and as simple words as possible to explain the very special birthday and story of Christmas, which is nothing more than a leap of faith believing in those wonders as well.

At some age reason and logic will inevitably cause doubt to the existence of Santa Claus, I hope that Jason will continue to believe as I did, on the basis faith alone. It’s a personal choice what parents tell their kids, but I plan on making Jason’s childhood filled with as many magical experiences as I can.

Francis P. Church’s editorial, “Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus” first appeared in the The New York Sun in 1897, over a hundred years ago, and was reprinted annually until 1949 when the paper went out of business. Here is some detail as to the exchange.

I have followed the dog trainer Cesar Millan, better known as the “Dog Whisperer”, ever since our dog Leah was a puppy. He has some great books on dog training, the one I read and applied was Cesear’s Way. Milan believes dog owners must act like dominant pack leaders. He simplifies situations that are often complicated by not understanding the animal and their needs. He strives to achieve balance with some amazing tips and techniques. Millan’s methods use minimum force necessary to prevent or correct a problem. One of his techniques is to redirects the undesired behavior of the animal into something that the animal can do rather than just telling the animal no.

I’ve actually borrowed this technique with my son Jason. Rather than simply telling him no, I show him what he can do. It gives Jason a chance to channel his energy into something positive rather than to dwell on his “error”. It’s one thing to correct Jason while I sip my coffee in the morning on the porch and let him figure it out on his own, its another to get on his playing field and show him how things are and should be done. Cesar has some me some pretty powerful simple concepts, another one of my favorite is the idea that exercise, discipline and affection equals happiness. This idea can certainly be applied to children and even adults.

Brenna Hicks, a child therapist in Palm Harbor, Florida, has a fantastic blog: The Kid Counselor. She has parenting articles and tips, play therapy topics as well as discipline topics. Her blog topics have adopted Millan’s main concept, that dogs take their cues from their masters, and misbehave only when the masters fail to carry themselves, in body language and tone of voice, like pack leaders. In a post, “Raising Kids: Wisdom From the Dog Whisperer,” she wrote, “When we present nervous, angry or scared energy in front of our kids, they pick up on those emotions.” I agree with Brenna, that love, respect, and communication are the keys to any relationship…animal or human.

Via Gawker, the wife of Twitter founder Ev Williams, Sara Morishige Williams, tweeted about her water breaking. “Dear Twitter, My water broke. It wasn’t like Charlotte in Sex and the City. Now timing contractions on an iPhone app.” She then followed with “Epidural, yes please.”

Lynsee (who asked to keep her last name private-she has limits) has been sharing daily details about her pregnancy on the social network MomsLikeMe. When she gave birth more than a thousand women followed her online, in addition to those with an Internet connection. She streamed a live broadcast of her child’s birth.

The common theme here, is mass communication and the growth of the internet. Because of some pretty amazing universal connections, these women were able to turn a deep personal experience into a social experience as well. I can relate to that. We had WIFI and our lap top in the recovery room, and we couldn’t possibly make all the phone calls we’d have liked to have made that night or in the days that followed. Because of internet connectivity, we were able to send out a large email with pics of our new baby boy. There was a line that I didnt cross…there are some very private photos that my mother took when Jason was ultimately delivered via Ceserean. I didn’t keep them private because of the graphic nature of them, but because it was a private moment.

That being said, the last thing I wanted to do while in labor was get the masses involved for the three day extravaganza. Giving birth is a truly miraculous event and the more you can get out of your own head and relax, the better it goes. I don think it should be a big dark scary secret either. That is probably why TLC’s A Baby Story and MTV’s 16 and Pregnant are so popular. I just think that actually experiencing these sorts of things, rather than furiously documenting them while they’re happening is better for you and baby in the end. I constantly face that dilemma while playing with Jason, to let the camera sit aside while we continue to explore (I know you wouldn’t believe it with all the pictures posted on facebook but its true!).

In recognition of National Adoption Month, Gov. Charlie Crist encouraged renewed focus on adopting teenagers from state foster care. Teenagers are one of the hardest-to-place groups of children in foster care. Last December, the Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF) created the “Longest Waiting Teens” initiative to encourage the adoption of teenagers. The goal is to find families for the 103 children – including teenagers and their siblings. The initiative helps community-based care organizations focus on finding adoptive families for the youth, and caseworkers develop new strategies to meet this goal. Many of the teens currently in foster care have been there for more than five years, and a disproportionate number of them are African American males. Since the initiative began, 26 have been adopted. The governor commended DCF for receiving $9.75 million in federal bonus funds from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The federal adoption incentive rewards states for adoptions of older children in foster care or those with special needs. Under the Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008, a total of $35 million in adoption incentive bonuses is going to 38 states and Puerto Rico, with the next highest award going to Texas, which received nearly $5 million.

Last week Governor Crist applauded Florida’s successes in transforming state foster care while addressing child advocates, legislators and state child welfare system leaders from 18 states in Tampa. Florida was chosen as the host state for the National Governors Association Center for Best Practices policy institute, Changing the Outcome: Achieving and Sustaining a Safe Reduction in Foster Care, because of its success in safely reducing the number of children in foster care, including the Governor’s statewide Explore Adoption initiative. Explore Adoption highlights some of the incentives available to families who adopt children from state care. In addition to free health care through the Medicaid program and free college tuition to one of Florida’s state universities, colleges or vocational schools, many children adopted from state care are eligible for a monthly stipend to help defray some of the costs related to adding a child to your family.

• Adoption Assistance – In Florida, adopted children with special needs are eligible for monthly adoption assistance. The monthly stipend may be negotiated up to the full amount of the child’s foster care rate at the time of adoption, depending on the child’s needs. Adoption assistance is funded with federal or state funds, depending on the child’s eligibility, and continues even when the family moves to another state.
• Adoption Tax Credit – Every family’s tax situation is different, but if your family’s income is below $204,410, the adoption tax credit is worth looking into. The tax credit is applied to your total tax liability and could increase your refund. The form number is 8893. The form and instructions are available at www.irs.gov.
• Employer Adoption Benefits – The National Adoption Center provides a listing of employers who provide adoption benefits. To request a copy, contact the National Adoption Center at 1-800-TO-ADOPT.

In addition, state and public school employees who adopt a child are eligible for a one-time adoption benefit of $5,000 or $10,000. The benefit is also available to employees of community colleges, universities and water management districts. The greater benefit is for families adopting older children, sibling groups or children with medical challenges. To learn more, check out the Governor’s Explore Adoption web site.

Economists and the business community have advanced a birth to five policy agenda. Zero to Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families has released an article that examines the economic benefits of investing in the earliest years, and provides a state example that demonstrates it in action. It also provides tips and strategies for how states and/or communities can work with business leaders and economists to establish similar investments for infants, toddlers, and their families.

When choosing investments in the world of finance, we strive to yield the highest rate of return while minimizing the financial risk involved. Investing in our children’s first years fits this investment principle quite well.  Both scientists and economists now agree that investing in early childhood is a critical and proven strategy to ensuring our nation’s future economic success.  Business leaders can invest in early childhood opportunities for young children to create a stable, educated workforce fueled by people who prioritize good health, strong families, and positive early learning experiences.

James Heckman, a Nobel Memorial Prize winner in Economics, proposes investing in early childhood programs because it provides the answer to global competitiveness, better health and education outcomes, and less crime and poverty. As parents, child advocates and leaders in business the community we can ensure larger gains collaboratively than an individual investment could yield alone.

This idea was put into action when the initiative of many corporate leaders, formed the Minnesota Early Learning Foundation (MELF).  Supported by $20 million in private funding, MELF’s mission is to recommend cost-effective strategies to prepare children for success in kindergarten and beyond. The idea is to have corporations be strategically invested, rather than just supporting programs.

In addition to wowing Mommy and Daddy by his knowledge of shapes and colors, amazing ability to spiral a football, threading beads on a string or completing a puzzle on his own, Jason has added some more skills to his list: pinching, and shoving. You would think that this would have to be a learned behavior, watching Mommy hit Daddy over the head with a school bus perhaps, but I assure you it is not. It’s been hard for me to see my loving, gentle little man turn into a pinching, shoving little tyrant.

Clearly he lacks the capacity to express feelings in less offensive ways. Frustration or anger is causing him to lash out at his friends in a kind of primitive response. I guess I’m looking for affirmation that this behavior is normal and that I’m not raising a future class bully. I try not to feel so powerless during an attack on his friend (who is actually Mommy’s friend…he had nothing to do with my selection) and just plug away at showing him acceptable means of communication. In fact sometimes his anger is justified and my goal shouldn’t be to squash the emotion, but to show him how to express his anger in a healthy, preferably non-violent way.

I am struggling with watching Jason express these emotions but I think it may be unrealistic to expect him to always be calm, cool and collected. I’ve actually come to notice that lower expectations tend to make for a happier day.  That’s not to say that low expectations are cause for a lousy day, just a realistic one. Mommy may not get a shower until nap time…if she does she probably wont get to shave her legs or dry her hair. I may just have to go more than a year without four hours of solid sleep. I will not be able to go to the bathroom alone… probably ever again. My days are filled with surprises like missing keys, stickers on your favorite wallet, drawings on important paperwork, writing on the wall, baby powder all over the carpet, or Goldfish crackers lining the bottom of my purse (a personal favorite) and I’m quite certain these are the best days of my life.

Sometimes I think the world just moves too slowly for him. He is either full speed ahead or asleep. I thought about getting him a treadmill like Cesear Millan suggests for his dogs to wear them out. In some ways I can understand why he would be frustrated.  He usually gets to rule the roost and learning to share is a tough concept. I should give credit where due, when we go to the local park he will take turns all day long on the slide. The children stand side by side 4 or 5 deep waiting patiently for their turn to climb up the tower and down the long twirly slide.