On a recent trip to Parents Magazine’s # 1 rated zoo in the country, Lowry Park, I dropped our Nikon D60 and the lens resembled the picture above.  Although it was still able to take great photos with no sign of the damage, it was dropped off today for repair.  I couldn’t show you the actual damage but I found this image on istockphoto.com. My first introduction to the world of photography was in a magnet program in middle school.  We learned to roll and develop our film, and process photographs in the darkroom.  I really enjoyed myself and for many years I had an enlarger/dark room on my christmas list. Yes, there was an actual list addressed to Santa until I left for college.  I would always end up removing the enlarger and replacing it with half a dozen other things.  In high school I always had a camera around my neck and if it was missing from my neck it was always near by.  I took a brief hiatus in college but always seem to have it in arms reach now that Jason is around.

After being reconnected with two old friends on facebook, and seeing their sucess with photography (Liz Lauren Photography & LH Photography) I too have considered venturing into the field of paid photography.  While photography is one of my passions, my true passion lies with child advocacy.  When I do decide to take a break from my day job and take on another role, its going to be a step in the direction of child advocacy….until then I will have to settle for being Jason’s advocate.  However, if I were going to start a photography business it would be called Cracked Lens Photography.

And finally, the segue to the point that I wanted to write about tonight.  I just finished the “about” section of my blog today and after reading it published am reminded of the Pollyanna world I live in.  It is a conscious decision I make everyday to ignore the evil and the negative influences and surroundings, and gravitate towards the positive ones.  I can’t watch a scary movie unless I go to themoviespoiler.com first and check the ending.  I quite often cry listening to country songs and watching Publix commercials(especially the holiday ones).  I prefer to avoid conflict, probably because I go just a little bit over the top once I am in it…all easily justified by the need to “stick up” for myself and loved ones.

The cracked lens on my camera reminds me of how perfect and how flawed Jason is at the same time.  Today as Jason kicked me because he didn’t get his way, I thought I needed to make a note on my blog that Im not completely lost in my Pollyanna world…and am aware of just how imperfect this family is. When Jason indulges in a little bad behavior or rebells through a little self expression, I want to try and make sure he has a safe outlet to do it. When Jason does find his voice as a young child and a grown man I want him to have the confidence to express it.  Thats my mission.

Thats enough expressing of my voice tonight. Goodnight.